If I could turn back time, there’s a mountain of advice I’d give my younger self – so many things I wish I’d known back then. But if I had to pick just one (for now anyway), it would be this: it’s okay to stand alone and know your worth.
Allow me to explain. There was a time when I thought that happiness and success came from having a huge circle of friends. I believed that being surrounded by people meant I was liked and worthy. But what I didn’t realise was that not everyone in that circle truly cared about me. Some were only interested in their own agendas rather than building meaningful, fulfilling relationships.
I used to feel obligated to say yes to every time someone suggested a night out, even if I didn’t feel like it. I thought that if I didn’t, they’d stop liking me. But all I was doing was losing myself in the process – saying yes to please others while saying no to my own needs. The truth is, the problem wasn’t them; it was me. I lacked the confidence to stand firm in who I was.
Now, at 32, I see things differently. I’ve learned that being true to myself, even if it means standing alone at times, is far more valuable than trying to fit into a mould or seeking external validation. So here’s the advice I wish I had back then, and I hope it resonates with you today:
- It’s okay to have a small circle of friends. (It can be better because you’ll have more to put in to the friendship.)
- Quality will always outweigh quantity.
- Walk away from the drama, gossip and fake friends, and you’ll live happier and be more at peace.
- True friends will listen to your struggles so you feel heard, and more importantly, they will celebrate your wins without a hint of jealousy.
- Real confidence comes from within, not from the validation of others.
- Don’t waste time on energy drainers, and spend more time with people who uplift you.
- Give back to those friends who empower, inspire, and to be that friend you seek in others.
Let me tell you, I discovered this the hard way, but now I can honestly say with my hand over my heart that I am a secure, confident woman who knows her worth. Remember: don’t settle for anything less!